I think overall it sounds really positive. I do need to agree with the others though on stopping the R talk. I understand that you're able to do it without arguing, but it is still pressure, especially on someone like your H who is young and wants to feel "free". Before I left for Poland, I was making my H get into R talks almost every time I saw him, because they felt reassuring. I was talking about future plans etc., and he would usually go along with it. However he didn't mean the things that he said, or at least maybe meant them at the time but was and is still confused. I don't think asking for reassurances helps. You can do this, if appropriate, at the counseling sessions instead, at least IMO.
All in all Daisy, I think your sitch sounds pretty positive, and I am sure many on the board would love to trade you places. You see each other quite a bit, always ML, and he is open to discussing the future. I really think if you could lay off the R talks for even a few weeks, you would see even more progress. Also, have you tried validating his feelings around things like being friends, or arguing too much? Maybe something like, "I can understand how you would feel that way."
Anyway, sounds like progress!
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
