W2G - it IS a catch22. When I let go, H starts showing care-interest- even Love. When he does that, I start feeling like there is hope again. When I show that I've got hope again, H proceeds stomping on it. And I let go !
I checked out the gifts/photos H has taken with him. Among them a few old photos, pre-wedding, of H and me, a pic of me and D17 and a semi-precious stone I gave him for his B-day when he came to visit in June (that was when he "chose" me over Spider).
I"ve been talking to my old friends and tonight, hopefully, I'm going to meet up with 2 of rhem. They're very supportive of me, but in a very non-DB way. They're trying to "shame" H into coming back, refuse to talk to him or try to explain to him that he's acting crazy. I'm afraid they've done more harm than good, with H being very stubborn and wanting to have it his way no matter what.
My little "furball" is my BF at the moment ! I'm not sure whether H's missing me, but he's missing our cat madly!
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
! 
! 