DQ -

I know our difference in drive is our only problem. No she has never had any sexual trauma. Yes, just a different drive than me and much lower after child. Living a life without passion, I can tell you is very empty, I have existed that way enough to know. As long as I am able to, I WILL live passionately now. Isn't that what we are all striving for on this board? The pill idea is interesting and it may help her to see that I would do anything (other than part with the jewels ;\) ) I could to make our life together filled with passion. My preference of course is for it to be with her. (I think she is the one who jokingly suggested an open marriage... LOL is right)

Absolutely she goes into defensive mode when this subject comes up. We never really solve it, it is always just back peddling and fights. I have made more progress towards making this better for us this summer than ever before though. I attribute this to having a much better and loving attitude towards her now and also learning that this is about our emotional connection and not simply a physical act. If she'll just get past being defensive, she may be able to see this something we can work on together to solve. I have really tried to always make this about "us" rather "me" when we do talk.


Baggy -

I know it's silly to not do this (vas). It's funny we even talked about this not long ago. It's just that we are so close to menopause now, why bother? We've just never had that hyper-fertility like you and Mrs. B have. We have always been very haphazard about birth control since even when we are trying very hard to get pregnant, nothing would happen. No pill, hasn't taken it for 20 years. Condoms? Lately I have not used them as much, I prefer without but will use them if she is ovulating. We still consider our only daughter a miracle since we have had something like 10 miscarriages over the years. Actually if you wanted to point to any kind of trauma, this might be it.

I am so blessed to have found you wonderful people here on this board. Thanks so much for your insight.

Cinco