Her being gone from the house and the slight contact...dude, it is tough. Hard to SEE the hope. I look down at my hands....I can barely see the thread. I know it's there, just hard to see, its so thin.
I can relate to this. I was pretty well detached a few weeks ago. Then W wanted me back and a couple days later said it was a mistake and sorry she gave me false hope.
Yesterday it was another comment about seeing a lawyer. I have also been jumping around all over the place the last couple weeks. The goal has not changed, it just seems cloudy and hard to see.
I did start to flirt a little with some girls last night after the softball game and a couple beers. Then I wondered what I was doing and left. I never really had thoughts about other women since I started dating my W seven years ago.
It is hard to see about R with her sometimes. Who she has become and it is less attractive. I know though even if I don't feel like it I would try. The thought of being single again does look attractive and getting away from this mess. I am sure that it is the wrong path to go down. Just tempting.
Hang in there. Somewhere down the line this will all make sense. Just a bad ride in the meantime.
A warrior does not give up on what he loves, he finds the love in what he does
Tomorrow night D6 has parent night at her school, so things will be kinda nuts.
Great. Another opportunity to interact with the wife tomorrow. Will have to look good and smell good.
Like I don't already?
Gonna try to watch Darjeeling Limited tonight, though. Did you watch last night?
Yenko,
Like I said on your thread, up and down and side to side, dude. I hate letting my emotions get the best of me, but I think I'm getting better.
The temptations of my alphabet girls? I allow just enough to keep me in a PMA.
You hang in there as well. Come by and talk about stupid sh*t anytime. My thread can be a one stop shop for anything, sometimes. I think my thread may have been the only one to bring The Rock(Puppy)to tears.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
That is actually perfect timing. Even though I have as a goal to go to bed by 10:30, I can make exceptions, perhaps that should be a goal too. Cut yourself some slack!!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I just don't think I can get to bed any earlier than 11:30. Just me. Then even when I don't have to, I am up by 7am. When I have the girls with me, I am up by 5:45am the whole week. Then these past 3 or 4(I can't remember)Fridays and Saturdays, home at 3am.
Your right. I might have to cut myself some slack.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
Some email intraction with the wife today. Tomorrow is Parent Orientation. I sent:
"Pretty sure you know about tomorrow night. Wasn't sure if you knew the times. PTA meeting starts at 6pm. The orientation starts at 6:30 in two rounds. The second round starts at 7. Parents can choose either one. At 7:30 is something called GT Awareness? Have no idea what that is.
Looking on the website, it says it's best for children not to attend.
Suggestions? I'd like to meet the teacher. She says Juli has been doing very well.
Let me know. I'm open to whatever."
I thought I was being nice and trying to coordinate things. Later, she sent:
"Yes I am very well aware of it tomorrow, I plan on going to the later one at 7pm. GT awareness is the Gifted and Talented, I don't think I'm going to attend that. The kids can stay at the apartment until we are done. Meet the teacher, she is very nice. Juli is doing great so far. Suggestions to what?"
Sounded kind of pissy to me. So I sent back:
"Not sure why I sent the email.
Enjoy your day."
She replied:
"I have been posting the kids upcoming events on the refrigerator, if you care to look, I have also been telling them to remind you of tomorrow, but you know how it is, they forget to tell us or wait until the last moment. JuliAna had homework yesterday, I left the week calendar in her folder of the homework that needs to get done, yesterday she had sentences, did she do them? Miguel is needing a book, I got him the audio but the teacher said she wanted them to have the book tomorrow, think you can get it, if not let me know.
You enjoy your day too"
Big change in tone in my opinion. My final:
"I did not see anything in her folder about tomorrow. Ms Howard told me about it in an email response to me yesterday. JuliAna did her homework. Miguel told me about the book, so we'll get it tonight.
I'm leaving to pick them up now.
Thanks."
When I get to the apartment, I am hurrying up the kids as usual. Takes about 15 minutes for all of them. Just as we are getting ready to leave, she shows up. With bags of groceries? She must have gotten off early again. Very odd. She asks kids to help her bring some stuff in. They are puting them away. I did not say hi. In the kitchen, she asks D6, "Is your dad waiting for ya'll?" and gives a glance to me. I just look at her. I don't say a thing but thinking "No sh*t. No, just let me hang out here for a while with you".
"I guess so" she says to herself. She asks if we are going to to the bookstore. I tell her I went already. She asks, "Did you get the right book?"
WTH? Her stupid questions irritate me more and more. Pet peeve of mine and one she has been doing more of lately.
"NO, I TOTALLY BOUGHT THE WRONG ONE ON PURPOSE!" is what I thought.
Now she has to say her goodbyes and so on and so forth. Blah blah.
I can hear her being nice to me. Be nice all you want. Not falling for it.
Leaving, she says to call her tonight about tomorrow? Now she is trying to coordinate things. Kids can stay here, S14 wants to go work out. I go to the first one and then she'll go to the second one. No, she changes her mind. She'll just come home and make the kids dinner and I can go meet the teacher since she has already. This her doing all the talking. I'm just standing there waiting to leave.
"Thats why I sent the email. To try to see what we wanted to do." I tell her.
I just leave with out saying goodbye.
She is just working on 5% capacity, I think.
And how odd. On my week to get the girls, all of a sudden she is off early and getting to the apartment before we leave more often. Delays my time.
Last edited by hopeful4her; 09/11/0805:23 AM.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
