I'm writing you here because I know I can't write you for real. I am writing to help get the emotion out. I can't tell you all of this, and even if I could it would do more damage than good. Not to mention you really don't care how I feel anymore.
Why must you lie to me about everything? Why can't you tell me you switched phone plans so you can talk with HER without anyone at the law firm knowing. Why can you not just tell me you want your privacy. How can you actually look at me and tell me that the law firm now has two phone plans, and that somehow that makes sense. In a way it's funny, but so obviously a lie.
Tonight when you dropped S off after baseball practice and you came in to our room, I could see the delight in your eyes when you got a text----cell phone service where you never had it before. Did you answer her text while standing in OUR bedroom? You told me you don't love her. You are giving up everything we worked for, but not for love? I will never understand.
I find it hard to believe that you ever loved me, but now OUR kids are everything to you? They were created from OUR love. They came from US, and now they are "mine" and "yours." This is so wrong.
Remember when I made you meet to talk to me the day after you moved out. You did not have your wedding ring on. You told me it was because you knew that there was a period of time where I didn't where mine and it made you mad. How stupid do you think I am? I know you were with her when I called. I can tell when you lie. I told you that there was a period of time that I didn't wear my ring---months before you moved out. I didn't know what it meant anymore. I took it off, but later could not get it back on, so it was off longer than I wanted. The weight I've gained during all of this makes it nearly impossible to get it on and off. But it's on now. The first time I saw you after you moved out and you didn't have your ring on...........hurts almost more than just about anything else. Although, I know it doesn't mean anything to you. There is no way it could.
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
