I'm back after a long absence

[123snap]

Not much to report. We are being cordial, I emailed him and asked him how could I have acted differently or said differently that would have led him to feeling that I did take responsibility for my part in the past. He responded that he did not feel that I didn't take responsibility, although he said something to that effect. I don't know if he is just avoiding the discussion or what.

I need to distance and let go, to stop looking into every little detail and to focus on what I can effect and need to do, not those things I have no control over.

I am still so sad, perhaps a bit angry that once again my choices are being dictated by someone else and that I will be forced to give up some of those things that are dear to me (time with kids).

I don't think I can or should make any decisions right now, I am thinking I just need to back off and get my bearings and see how I feel. I will admit to hoping that he will change his mind again, but I just don't know.

Life has no guarantees right, so this is just another crapp shoot.

I wish I could not feel so sad.