Well, you can add my name to the list of people who thought their EX would "get over themselves" following the D. So sad. Guess I'm luckier than some of you as my sons are pretty much grown and I don't have to interact with Mr. Happy.
I have seen some cases where the exes actually do make it work for the sake of the kids. My brother married a woman with a child and both sets of parents get along wonderfully and actually attend and participate in important events in the kid's life. And, mind you, this was a case of infidelity where the H left and married the OW. So, miracles can happen. Of course, the kid is now 33 and a daddy twice over, himself. But the really wonderful thing is that the good-will between the parents has trickled down to the grandchildren, as it should.
I dread the thought of co-grandparenting my future grandchildren with the Ex. Unless, of course, he grows up in the meantime, before they arrive. I can hope, anyway. EX is very bitter about how the D came down. Guess he didn't really believe that he'd have to split the assets and pay spousal support. Reality bites.
Spitty
Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest. Mark Twain
I would have gladly given up the support to get rid of the spew. Life is so short. Living happy is the best. I'm happy. My ex will never be happy...it's the way he chooses to be.
So cheers to deb (and Bill) being happy.
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
I know that in some way we will always have some contact because of the kids. And, I really do try to get along w/ him...for the sake of the kids, if no other reason. I have even agreed to let him take our youngest to Boy Scouts, even though it is not part of the visitation agreement.
I just want him to communicate w/ me without yelling, cussing, and calling me names.
I guess after so many years....I shouldn't expect anything to be different now.
According to the kids, he even talks this way to his new wife.
I just shake my head in awe that I put up w/ it while we were married! Man, I really was stupid!
SG, this is what Bill says, too. He says that exH is not a happy person. And, that is true. He hasn't been happy for many, many years. I just thought that maybe he finally had what he was looking for and that it would make a difference.
I just want him to communicate w/ me without yelling, cussing, and calling me names.
I guess after so many years....I shouldn't expect anything to be different now.
I had to tell my X (numerous times) that if he started name calling, yelling, making accusations, then the conversation was over. I hung up on him soooooo many times. He hasn't done it in about a month, but I am not foolish enough to believe that it won't happen again.
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn
I really think it will get better once Bill and I are living together. I think right now he feels he can still throw his weight around.
I am hoping my situation will be better when the house finally sells and we no loonger have that in common. Right now he feels as though he still has a say in my life and tries to exert his control through the house. He has even said things abbout bringing the kids back to "our house." Yes it is both of ours in name, but he has not lived here for a year and a half, and he is remarried and shares a home with his wife. Maybe he has manhood issues because that house was hers and is probably still in her name (if she has half a brain.....well she did marry him so I am not sure she does), so he has no control. And he also drives a car that was hers and she gave it to him to drive when they were "just friends." Hmmmmmm.....I am beginning to think he spews at me because his wife owns everything and he feels powerless there, so he has to try to exert power over me. LOL I laugh about his little fits and go on with my life.
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn
Right now he feels as though he still has a say in my life and tries to exert his control through the house
Hmm same here.
Suzy your H is a winner I tell ya.
I hang up on him when he has his fits too. Then he feels bad about it and does something around the house. Then few more days and i get YOU BETTER........... blah blah whatever ordering around he feels he is entitled to. But now it is click or delete.
NO matter how mean or weird, or nice he gets. I still don't want to see him hurt. I mean after the thoughts of pushing him into the Hudson river goes away.
Live Simply Love Generously Care Deeply Speak Kindly Leave the rest to God
