Hmmm....ok...well I still think you are unable to separate yourself from how you feel right now in order to truly examine the question.
Part of my asking the question was so that you could examine how your wife TRULY feels...there isn't anything "wrong" with her, she just has little to zero sex drive. From everything you've written, you have not said anything that would indicate there is "more to her story" (ie: past history of sex abuse, etc). Instead, from everything you've written, you are describing a woman who loves her husband and daughter very much. She has low self-esteem, but not so much that it is crippling. And she has little to no sex drive. But this does not describe a woman who has something wrong with her. She is just DIFFERENT than you.
There is nothing similar at all between the hypothetical question I am asking you, and a man voluntarily castrating himself...sheesh! Again, this just shows how you are unable to even imagine having no sex drive...
But that's ok...it was just hypothetical.
I had been thinking that, whenever you get around to the ultimatum, or in writing a letter to your wife to get the ultimatum rolling...you could say something like:
"You that I love you so much, that if I could take a magic pill that would make my libido get lowered to the same level as yours, I would do it. And I know you love me so much that if there was a magic pill that made your libido raise up to my level, you would take it. But there is no such drugs. And we are left with the fact that we are different and we cannot change who we are...so what do we do from here?"
And then you could offer some options:
*Marriage counseling
*Sex Therapy
*Separation
*Divorce
(do not offer an open marriage - LOL!)
This way, you would be trying to show her that as much as you love her and would change yourself if you could, just to still be with her, you can't because no such drug exists and therefore, being that you are not going to change and you WANT to experience your passion...you are going to have to tell her under no uncertain terms, that one way or another, you will seek a resolution to the fact that you are currently unable to experinece your passion.
One more thing I wanted to say...
The talk you had last night was not her discussing her feelings. She was just being defensive. That talk was ZERO about her inner feelings, why she feels this way, if she thinks there is actually any way she could change, what the causes of her low desire are...and so forth. That convo was just her trying to get you to get off her back....it was not a freeing and expressing conversation, like I had suggested in my thread yesterday. Just wanted you to realize that and not take her words to heart too much from last night....because those were not words that came from her heart. They only came from her fight or flight reflex, which has nothing to do with her feelings about HERSELF and her sexuality.
