I don't know if I will be so blessed as you to have my H back in my life. He has finally moved in with OW after living next door for a year. He still calls me to say he loves me (but as a friend) and wants me in his life. (note.. his life)
I still miss him and yes, love him. Funny I can forgive what he has done, but I don't like who he is when he is with OW. I find it hard to talk to him as he acts so differently, and not in a good way. So mostly I am dark.
We are part way through the divorce. I stopped helping at this point, but I may soon have to push for a settlement to be financially sound.
I think the not in love feeling is due to all the pain I suffered. Sometimes I find it easier to push him out of my mind to feel better. Also being alone gets easier and I begin to forget what it is like to be married.
For me it is the not knowing that gets me. If he just said I'll be home next year, I would just go on and live my life. If he was actively divorcing me I would just accept it and get on. But all this limbo land stuff makes me more upset than the affair.
