Excuse me here for a second Kev but this is too darn good to let it pass.
So let me get this straight. After hundreds of posts and how many years, and you finally admitted out loud and for all the world to see, that I gave some good advice! Now that wasn't so hard was it?
See Kev! I knew you would get great advice! Gotta love this board, Bethie is sooo right! Tell ex you want a copy of S sports schedule, or get one from the coach directly, let your S know you are DAD not Kevin, you are Kevin to us- Its all so overwhelming I know, but we cant let our exs come between us and our precious children
How are you feeling today?
Be Happy for this Moment, This Moment is your Life
I have nothing much to add to the advice you already got...your son is old enough for you to have a talk about how you are dad and that you want to be in his life as much as possible, but are limited because his mom moved away. I think you should also consider telling your XW that you prefer for your kids to call you dad and you'd appreciate if she would refer to you, when talking to the kids, as "your dad". Ask her how she'd feel if the kids referred to her as "Dawn" (or bitch) when they are with you and when you remarry the kids will call the new wife "Mom". BTW, I think I hate your XW. She's not a good mother....a good mother wouldn't do this to her kids. I'm glad I never had to deal with an XW that remarried and my kids had a step-dad around.
I'm sorry Kevin. As a guy that worries about how his kids perceive him, I'm very aware how bad that would have hurt.
P.S. Many sports things are now online. Maybe you can find the schedule for his events and practices online.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
I remember post-S/D, S8 did a lot of similar check-ins with me. I recall X starting to do funky stuff, like dropping his last name from forms and calling him differing nicknames. I kept firm with some stuff, emphasizing to him his paternal lineage, telling him what his grandfather(GF) and GGF were like, noting how many generations of our family has remained Roman Catholic, noting similar features of he and I, telling him what I hoped to pass onto him and his children.
I think a lot of selfish behavior on the part of the WAS includes an inability to see the impact of their behavior on the next generations. "It's all about me" fails to weigh the costs incurred by our children and grandchildren.
To me, your son is already circling back to stay or be more connected with you. It tends to be a little threatening to think about fitting yet more into your already tiring schedule, but there will be space and time for your children. And doing more with them will make you a better man and help to heal you.
You are an awesome Dad, Kev. He'll never replace you, and she'll never be able to erase you from their lives with lies. Work hard and put the rest in God's hands.
