"It was very, very strange. I mean, I was crying about it again last night. Just last night. About how I missed him, how much he had loved me, the way it felt when he held me, all the things he did for me and said to/about me, was always there for me. My brain flipped-flopped. There was just nothing. Not sure what brought me so around."
Last night was an old tantrum about old hurts playing itself out again on auto-pilot.
Today you are back to your real self
Good plan to discuss the living arrangements with the kids' C.
And no, I don't feel that you've been trying to enmesh with me, lol. You are getting very strong and very independent!
