Advice-Husband moved in with OW(I'm a Newby)

[Trying2live]

Jgrind,
Well so you weren't perfect neither were any of us. That does not license having an affair. There are plenty of opportunities for communication. But they chose not to they chose selfishness. Their choice was deliberate, but our short comings were not deliberate. No one is perfect and neither were any of our spouse. But we did not run of and have an affair.

As I look back more and more I realize yes it was good and we had definite bad times, but what I thought was good is starting to not look as good as it was-funny thing of hindsight. Maybe if our H's come out of this it can be good. But I bet if you look closely at your own marriages you will see the same thing. Good is ok, but good also means that it can get better. I see now that because of both of our dysfunctional upbringings that we did this dance. He danced, I danced and the kids danced-and yes we were relatively happy, but for all in the household I now see that it wasn't as pure and whole as it could be or hopefully can be.
I know that all things are possible with God. God cannot override the will of a person, so we stand, we pray for the darkness to be removed from their minds, we get to know who we are a individuals, GAL, and grow while we wait. Some things will be out of our control and some won't. That's where we gotta just cast those cares over to God because he cares for us. Besides worrying never fixed anything.
So ya'll wanna hear the retarded thing he did last night...oh Brother...
Kids have been really upset with H as you all know. They go back and forth about talking or visiting with him. For a month they didn't talk to him, then for a month they did(and they really didn't enjoy the visits because he's not the person we all knew) and now were back again where they really don't want to talk to him. So I tell H hey even if they don't want to talk still call anyways. So you wanna hear his lame message. I couldn't even play it for my son its scary. He says, "Hi its dad, I'm calling to talk to ****, I'm sure he's led to believe I want to kill him, so call me back".

WHAT?!?!?!?!?! Ok I know he blames me for the kids reactions-as if our kids don't have their own thoughts about all this I mean my daughter is 17 and my son will be 10 in 4 weeks. Just a really bad message using your kids name and kill in the same breath-ewe. Insane in the membrane! None the less I'm saving that message just in case I ever need it....cuckoo