The only way you can deal with it (trust me I know) is if he is total honest with you about every conversation they have. If he does not speak with her regarding anything personal especially involving your marriage and that there is absolutely no contact outside of the office. This includes football pools, lunches, happy hours etc....unless you are present. If he is not willing to give you those things, he is not willing to end the affair. My H struggles hard with his feelings for her and the "perfect relationship" that they were trying to create however with time those feelings are going away, with his committment to make our marriage work came his committment to put my needs (to regain my trust) ahead of any needs that he has. That doesn't mean I can take advantage of him just that my trust is his number one priority. I can tell you if it wasn't this way, there is no way I could trust him,..
