Advice-Husband moved in with OW(I'm a Newby)

[hope3343]

Good morning, looks like it was a busy night on the thread here!

JGrind, yes my husband is an alcoholic, he gave up drinking about 20 years ago. Has an occasional slip (he was more of the party till the cows come home type drinker). Now these past months he has drank 6 or more times and driven drunk. Continue Alnon, if you don't like that group try another. There is also Ala-teen which might be good for your kids. Kids follow by example.

twinhope, I want my M to work. At the end of this post I will let everyone know how the MC meeting went (bad). Your H seems more confused but I see him gradually making his way back to you. We have to be patient and then work on forgiveness

T2L - you could have blown me away about associate pastors. But in reading other threads (did you see the one about alien taking my H)it seems that there are no surprises. These days I have turned to God and I have to say that I am starting to feel like I am not alone. I have turned this over to Him because most times I cannot handle it alone. Also I have been encouraging D15 to pray and she is a believer. It helps everyday

Marisol, my heart goes out to you. Do not feel this is the end. H is being encouraged to do this. The Divorce store? What is that?? Read Sandi note. Especially 33. The way your H is talking to you, I am sure you are coming across as needy and desperate. We are all guilty of that but you need to come out strong now in front of him anyway. Do not give up hope. Remember this is not his first A, when you have multiple A's it does not sound like there is much invested in any of them.

Sandi2, thanks for the post today. How did you know I needed to be reminded. I need to call my coachbuster today to make my next appt. I need those immediate goals and my next DB techniques.

All, last night went bad. On the way to the MC, my H says before we go in I want to tell you I found an apt. Thank you very much for sharing that before we go in (a touch of sarcasm). H spoke first saying he was leaving and wanted a D. The MC had us doing listening/paraphrasing skills. At some point I started to freak out a little (cry me a river). When I spoke I read my letter. Yes, it did contain some DB but I did tell him that I wanted to save M and I needed him and loved H. He was not receptive. I did ask him I know you are not happy, I get it but why won't you work on the marriage and at least give me a chance. I told H I was praying for us and would like God's plan to be part of our marriage since we tried it on our own all this time so how could we survive. H thought I was using God as an excuse. (he later apologized for that statement because I know he is questioning his faith every day and knows he is going against God's plan). Look up "double minded" it is interesting reading in the Bible. At the end I said the big No No, was he in love with OW. He said it is not about that it is about you and me. He has not been happy in years blah blah blah. I needed to read #32 by Sandi today. After the session I cried me a river. He took me to the beach and we both cried. It was awful. I was the needy queen. I said please don't fall in love with anyone else, please keep your mind open to me. I was the anti DBer. when I came home I went to bed. He was up to 2 am. My D15 came in the room in the morning and said how did it go? I told her we talked, but Daddy is not happy. She was satisfied with that answer.
Now God in his good humor, has put Hurricane Ike right into our path. Maybe he intends to blow my H's future apt away (wouldn't that be something!). We are going to be told to evacuate from the Island. I have booked hotel rooms in San Antonio and we will leave Friday morning. I am not used to this. I am an East Coast girl. Yes, H is coming with us. Maybe I can just lock him in our house and leave with D15 and dog! That would take care of everything --- smile!
For today it is bright and sunny out. I will keep all of you in my prayers. I will access to a computer till Friday and try to keep all of you posted.
I think on our next post we should try and list a few short term goals. I think we really help each other on this board. We want to keep ourselves positive and GAL.
I am keeping #12, #13, #14 and #24 for today.
____________
M 52
H 49
D15
D28
bomb IANH 7/27
found apt - 9/9