1. you had many affairs, which said Passion wasn't important getting your rocks off was. Can't have true Passion or connection with a stranger.
When sex almost completely stopped with her I thought I could separate sex from love/passion. It was so empty though without love. I was so stupid to think I could have one without the other and realize now I want them together and only with her now.
The other points I'm still not certain that she ever knew there was OW. And if she does to the extent it went. It was more about neglecting her than strutting around saying look what I can do. Remember I was always very secretive about it.
This is more about finding a part of her that has tucked away and hidden and she doesn't want to find again. "We're too old to be doing this anymore", is a recurring theme. After our D was born, she turned away from that part of herself. I can't seem to make her realize without it, we have no marriage. Like you said, "I was ignorant to how important the connection we didn't have anymore was and so was (s)he." This fits us to a "t". Instead of helping her find it again back then, I decided it would never return and then started my stupid secret SL.
I am trying so hard to change this, reconnect with her, have a healthy SL with only her, I don't know if I can though. I don't know that she wants it or me again.
I need to be hit over the head with what I have done. I have hit myself plenty of times.
