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got along well with W today. we talked about stupid stuff, for about a half hour (29 minutes longer than our talks while she was with OM.) he was the jealous type and couldn't stand me being in her life, that's why he left. still being a jerk about her being pregnant (says she's a liar even though she has blood tests to confirm). so much drama.


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Heres the update......feel free to chime in....

W texts this morning and asks if I'm still going to make her wait 2 years to grant the divorce. I respond with 'no. But I just want you to know that I am not cool with everything that has happened, but I still love you with all my heart and having OM's baby changes nothing about how I feel. I know how you feel about him. my door is open to reconcile.'

And for some reason when I said 'I know you have feelings for him still', she said 'he is never coming back'


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For the first time, the conversation didn't faze me. Very odd


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did I do alright ? It didn't feel like the end if the world like usual. Don't know why she still wants a divorce. He doesn't want her or the baby; I do. Not enough I guess.....


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I think your response was "pursuing."

Better:

"That's a legal question, and unfortunately, probably best left for the attorneys at this point. Gotta run, BC."

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Originally Posted By: badcompany


And for some reason when I said 'I know you have feelings for him still', she said 'he is never coming back'


This just confirms what some of us said about her reactions right now are not about you, but all about OM and his rejection of her.

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Originally Posted By: badcompany
But I just want you to know that I am not cool with everything that has happened, but I still love you with all my heart and having OM's baby changes nothing about how I feel. I know how you feel about him. my door is open to reconcile.'


Okay BC,

You've said everything that needs to be said. You've written before that you were worried that maybe she wants you back, but thinks you won't come back because you are "moving on" with your life, or wouldn't want to raise someone else's child.

I don't think she is confused in any way where you stand. I think you've fully conveyed that you don't want the divorce and would help her raise the child. You can be certain that she KNOWS this now.

And the thing you need to realize and accept is this doesn't change her mind. She doesn't want to be married to you. And it sounds like she's really annoyed and bothered by you dragging your feet on this. Unfortunately somehow you've made that obvious and she is connecting your fighting the divorce as pursuit.

My feeling about this is if you continue this pursuing you will probably kill off any chance of reconciliation.


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I'm pretty sure that was the last relationship question we'll have for awhile. I appreciate all the advice. The main plus out of all of this is that I'm not devastated, her and I get along, and the OM screwed up. Give it time guys. She 'knows' I'll sign the papers


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Originally Posted By: badcompany
I'm pretty sure that was the last relationship question we'll have for awhile


Give yourself a time frame for that "while." Let's say six months.


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6 months til I bring it up again ? or do I pretend she's not coming back for at least 6 months ? or something else ?


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