I don't know if this is an option maninmotion, but could you get someone in to help look after the kids at home for a while to give yourself a chance to rechrge your batteries? Your W does not sound the ideal candidate.

I was brought up with an alocoholic and volatile father and the impact carries on in the way I react to things to this day.

You sound like you are near the end of your tehher and need some practical help so you can sort yourself out.

((((((HUGS)))))))

Saffie
me 46
H 46
M in 1986
D20,D18,S16,D13
H's A 01/05 to 07/06
H recommitted to M 07/06
renewed vows 09/06
Going from strength to strength