I read SOME of your sitch. As long as you feel like you are helping H with kids like you are doing him a favor you will still kind of resent it and feel like a BITCH if he doesn't notice. Only do what you really think you should. It could be everything and it could be nothing But if your H feels like you are just doing it to impress him he will feel like it is temporary and they can sniif out changes that aren't real. If you were overly demanding in the past of him it will take quite awhile for him to believe that you can change.
My H said things like "I don't really see any changes.
Then a month or so later he would say "I see some changes but I can't trust that they will stay like that.
Then 1 month later
"I really see changes in you and you needed to make them .
Then 1 month later
"You have really made changes.
It takes time lots of it and when you get that your not in a rush.
Even now everyone wants to know when he is moving home except me. All I wanted was to move in the direction of getting back together ... I wanted a chance so bad to practice the new me without him being an Jerk. But I practiced the new me for a really really long time and he was a TOTAL jerk meaner than I have ever seen him. Now If he never comes home I would be able to say that I wouldn't be happy with him in the long run and we could be really good friends after we split. Lynn
