are you suggesting we ignore it when someone is abusive?

I often ignore things that people say that i don't agree with...they are just differences of opionions

heck

there are very few people who share all my viewpoints
and
that is the way it should be
we are all different

however, being abusive and justifying it is quite a different thing

if you saw someone beating up a person on the street would you just walk by and ignore it or stop

of course that pounder will not like me saying...stop pounding on that person, it's wrong

but it is even more wrong to turn your head and pretend you never saw it

if Phil were just rambling on about random things and was beligerent and ranted on his religious views i might have popped in and said hey whats up

but would have left him alone when he said leave me alone

he talked about spitting on his wife
about trying to hit her
about pushing her when he was drunk

he talked about insistanting on hugging her when she expressly said not to
he talked about trying to get info from him children

he talked about her throwing things at him

not a difference of opinion

not a point where we want people to turn their heads and pretend they just don't see