Hi Joe, well, I know it is so hard for you not to talk about the R b/c that is all that is on your mind. You also want to point out all the good things about M and why the two of you need to stay together, etc., but this will just push her further away......trust me, I know! If she brings up the talk of R, then look at her and really listen to her, but don't get into a fight. If she is determine to fight....walk away.
Be very careful about showing physical affection. This was something I certainly did not want from my H and most WAW's don't. Wait for her to start the kiss or hug and then you can respond to her. Don't email, text, phone, and any of that usual contact through the day, unless it is absolutely necessary. The more you pull back and give her space, the more likely she will draw closer to you. But, don't ever act pouty or sulled.....that will certainly go against you. Try to show a lot of personality, charm, wit, good manners, always be a "class act" and never stoop to acting like a jerk. Don't snoop b/c that will tear you apart if you find something you shouldn't be reading. Don't point out your changes to her. Remember, these changes are for Joe.....not a ploy to win her back. So many LBS do that and then when the S returns home, the LBS stops with the changing and the WAS sees it wasn't for life, and the problems start up again.
Well, I've probably repeated myself from before, but just want to encourage you to not give up. We know it is hard, but if you will have patient, she can come out of this fog and be the wife you remember. However, this could make some changes in her also, so be prepared for that.
This road is a bumpy one......feels like a rollercoaster ride at times. Live you life as unto the Lord and trust Him to take care of things. When we get out of His way and allow Him to do His work.....it is amazing what can happen....(lol) but most of us try to do it all ourselves.
Well, take care and I'll talk to you when you get back. Give me a yell.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
