For the Guy with Kids and a WW 12

[hopeful4her]

But then I ask myself if I really want this broken person.

Yeah, they are broken. I think no, but if they really wanted to R and made changes to fix what is broken in them, MC or IC, and you know all the things Puppy suggests, then maybe. I guess it would depend on how much they are really serious about fixing their brokenness??? Karen

The problem is, when and IF the wife ever gets there, will I still want it. In my heart.

I'm not divorced yet. Until then, I have to keep some hope. I don't know the real reason she hasn't done it yet. Could be cost, but she knows she can do papers herself. Could be uncertainty. Could be guilt. I have no idea.

But until she does. We're still married. How can I truly start to heal? How can I move on? How can I do anything? When the D comes, then the process begins, I think.

Today, I had to email her. Two of her automatic payments were hitting the joint account today. She didn't respond, so after lunch I went to go deposit money to save on the NSF fees. Once I got there, I changed my mind. Her responsibility, not mine. If there is fees, her problem. I came back to work. Parking the car, she finally calls. She asks what's up. I politely tell her about the payments. She asks which ones and I tell her. I give her the amounts and the total. She cheerfully(sounded very fake) says she'll take care of it. Will go make a deposit right now. I say ok. Just wanted to tell her. Bye.

I thought I did pretty good. I don't care if OM put the money in. Not my issue. I sent another email to her about me paying the sitter for D6 on Friday, since she paid last time. I asked if she would take a check and for her to have a good one.

I got back, "She prefers cash". Three words?

I got my girlies home and made dinner and did homework. I praised D6 because I emailed her teacher today to see how she was doing and she is doing very well. There is a parent night on Thursday. While D11 was in the shower, I noticed a missed call at about 8:15 on my phone. Wife called and left a message.
"Just wanted to let the girls know that I got home.(sniff sniff) Have them call me after their showers(sniff). Bye."

Maybe she got kats cold. Or crying. After D11's shower, I let them hear the VM and they call their mom. D11 asks why she sounded funny. Sick or crying. Sounded like she said neither. They talked and told each other they miss each other. She says she'll call in the morning again. She called this morning too.