were they the ones that said what he was doing wasn't abusive

because I won't do that
it isn't right
it is a lie
and
it helps no one
it makes him feel justified
and
it negates anyone who has ever been abused

and

anytime anyone emails me off the boards to say that someone is being abusive, i act on it

do you?

or do you allow people to be victimized all over again by mollycoddling an abusive person