Information about abuse

[qoe100]

What would be really interesting is if Phil's W would post here.......

And, from experience, it's possible that IRL no one knows that she's being abused. But, we feel that it's happening and can do nothing except sit by and be polite to Phil? Yeah, right!!!

[qoe100]

What would be really interesting is if Phil's W would post here.......

And, from experience, it's possible that IRL no one knows that she's being abused. But, we feel that it's happening and can do nothing except sit by and be polite to Phil? Yeah, right!!!

[qoe100]

What would be really interesting is if Phil's W would post here.......

And, from experience, it's possible that IRL no one knows that she's being abused. But, we feel that it's happening and can do nothing except sit by and be polite to Phil? Yeah, right!!!

[sgctxok]

if the problem keeps happening SG, try something different and address him on his behavior for how the majority of the board was treated - perhaps that might work...

We did (Me and Virginia). And he did tone it down.

[sgctxok]

if that was directed to me sg then yup...i did talk about myself. I also worked as a speaker for violence awareness organizations

i used what happened to me to give examples on things you might need to do. People listen to stories better when they are about specific people they can see and hear rather than statistics on a page

which is why most domestic violence workers have been victims of abuse or have witnessed abuse

to allow someone to continue to continue to speak about how they abuse their spouse and how it is correct to do so is disgusting

so

Phil can give a voice to an abuser
why he spits at his why
why he continues to follow her
why he feels the need to disregard her feelings and place his hands on her
why he demands hugs

i can give voice to someone who is experiencing abuse at the hands of a spouse or loved one

the someone who feels terribly small and came here looking for advice only to watch someone spew hatred and abuse as justified

i am not afraid of phil
i am not afraid of you
ban me or whatever you need me to do but i lived in silence for too long to allow someone else to beat someone into submission in front of me

you have to address this issue
what i went through helped shape who i am

my voice may be small
but i am not

figgy--i wasn't talking to you or about you.

[sgctxok]

Again, you do NOT know what really goes on with folks on this board, you only know what's posted. But you can search around here and find much worse. It doesn't help you them or anyone else to single someone out.

[sgctxok]

So what we CAN do here is look for solutions. And perhaps how or whether to give advice to someone who isn't taking advice.


In our particular example a few posters DID get through to the individual. We COULD examine models of behavior that WORKED.

[fig]

were they the ones that said what he was doing wasn't abusive

because I won't do that
it isn't right
it is a lie
and
it helps no one
it makes him feel justified
and
it negates anyone who has ever been abused

and

anytime anyone emails me off the boards to say that someone is being abusive, i act on it

do you?

or do you allow people to be victimized all over again by mollycoddling an abusive person

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Nothing gets through to him unless you agree with everything he says or does. He just doesn't get it. His W is fortunate to get away from him.

So why is that OUR responsibility, or MWD's, or SG's or anyone OTHER than Phil's??

It seems to me that this all boils down to this question: What responsibility do the owners of this forum have to shut down an idiot when he posts descriptions of his daily idiocy, bordering on verbal abuse?

Are we asking that he be banned? Admonished? Something other? He's already had four or five of his threads locked, and he's already been reprimanded a half a dozen times. What else are we, or anyone else, to do?

It seems to me that the best way to fight against the absurd is to point out their absurdity. Or perhaps ignore them completely.

Puppy

[Jeanette1120]

Are we asking that he be banned? Admonished? Something other? He's already had four or five of his threads locked, and he's already been reprimanded a half a dozen times. What else are we, or anyone else, to do?

It seems to me that the best way to fight against the absurd is to point out their absurdity. Or perhaps ignore them completely.

I guess we could just ignore the potential.?