ey Maximus, I'm sorry, maybe you already clarified all this. But I forget. Can you point me to a timeline for the past 4 years for you?
8 months in a affair Snapped 01/2005 H moved out 01/2005 Moved back 05/2005 Moved out later Moved back 11/2005 Moved out 04/2007
I told total truth about A 04/08. I had minimised contact etc with OM during A. No contact with OM since 01/05
Moved back 05/2008 Moved out 08/2008
In those years I have done everything asked of me by H and MC to be remorseful, sorry , understanding. I did this I thought while lying. Sooooo really I was doing none of the above.
Since I had lied for so long I wonder if the impact of the A only hit once I told the truth. I know I was devastated beyond belief when he left this time. Was it because he had the truth ? Is he feeling the pain really now ? Maybe I should not consider the earlier lying years and should only be thinking we are early on in the process?
started the book last night. Very interesting. Great little tool for any marriage to have. If only we could turn back time.
It is interesting about your W. If she is taking baby steps I think that is easier. you adjust slowly. Each step as a woman is difficult but the smaller the step the easier to get used to the new situation.
Does she rely on you for work around the house ? Not that i think you should not be doing stuff. The more contact , the more friendly the better I think. My moods these days swing from , resentment to anger to despair to hope to OK get on with it etc etc. Drives me crazy !
Good on you not allowing depression to take over. Not good for anyone. I did not get depressed ( in the black hole ). I am not that tpye of person. By that I mean I am an optimist ( ALWAYS THINKING THINGS WILL GET BETTER ) Not that , that has stopped the grief I am going through and should go through. I believe we all have to grieve and although its is ugly and sad it is necessary and character building. Have to feel the pain.
Optimisium has also not helped my situation. I keep sittting here waiting for him to feel better. That is why the book should be good for me .
So chin up and I think you sound like you will be fine. Your moving forward and I love the way you have left the little door open. I think that us how i should start looking at things.
