Advice-Husband moved in with OW(I'm a Newby)

[twinhope]

Hi everyone! I have read on other threads that alot of folks say no letter. That it is not a good idea. I have thought of doing the same but was told it is not a good idea at all. They are not in their right minds and a letter is just going to be ignored it will be sad, depressing, and rehashing things they are trying to avoid which pushes them to the OW. The OW are happy, give them what they want, not nagging, new, fresh, and exciting. A real high for them that is really disgusting to us.

I am curious about revealing the A. I have read other posts of people in piecing that say do not give any mention of the A/OW that by not saying anything is not giving it any value and can let H have what he wants right now but if we are not there putting preasure on them that their R will die its natural course b/c by us being the best we can be and GAL and acting as if they will look at us in a different light and they can't blame us for anything. I know my H right now tries to portray me of the me of old and assumes I am going to flip out, get defensive, all of the qualities that pushed him away. With every encounter we have I feel my H is testing me. Treating me like I am defensive, flipping out, all the things that justify him leaving in the first place. I am holding my own and not doing any of my old behaviors and he has noticed. I just wonder how long this is going to take. Is it ever going to end at times I feel he is taking steps forward but then he takes steps back. What a roller coaster ride of emotions. I want off soon!