Michelle's books actually talk about how in abusive situations the person should not try to DB but rather be safe.
Amy
I was married to a very abusive man (the Hardys' dad) for a very short period of time
he was horrible and wicked and when he was strangling me withthe phone cord, i watchedmy then almost 2 year old drag his almost one year old into the closet behind the baskets of clothes because it was where I put them when he would start with me...it was when i started to plan to leave
i am not dumb (college grad from a good family...he hadn't even bothered to finish high school) I was just a sucker with no self-esteem.
often times victims of abuse (Last I checked, the stat was 80%)will move into another abussive relationship because it is what they know
i hooked up with LSS because he was bigger than H#1, stronger...he was abussive but in his own way and leaving him was way harder because i felt even more dumb (how could i do it AGAIN)
it took lots of work (still doing it) to help pull my self-esteem up to where I felt I deserved something good
lots of work on being good with me
and
i grew a backbone solid and I bulldog protect my friends
no more taking things because I am afraid or feel small
you know
this board helped build my self-esteem back up helped me feel not so dumb helped me see that I could not have seen the sociopath LSS was/is helped me learn to find my footing
it makes me sick in my heart to see that a place where i once poured these stories out the gory details begging for help and found it
has been turned into a place where abuse is tolerated and posters are warned not to give helpful advice
you are right sg this is not a yahoo board
this is a board that at its core was developed to bring solace to those in need for us to hear we are not alone if we are standing for marriages that others say are dead or if we are learning to stand for ourselves
it is why i sought out the DB board after reading the books it is why i read the books
it is why i promoted it to friends who were dealing with similiar issues it is why I bought the books and donated them to the battered women's organizations where i worked
because the message was never sacrafice yourself for someone else be strong and stand for what you believe in
