I would echo Shelby's thoughts, but I think it is ok to point out the issues periodically, just not when you are at your most frustrated and emotional level. I think that is a great balancing act of the DB method in that, on one hand you aren't supposed to have R talks, on the other hand, how is your spouse supposed to know what is in your head? Plus, for me, if I don't point out those issues once in a while, it turns into frustration, which magically evolves into anger and resentment.
On your job, while your sitch is hugely crappy to have to deal with, you need to keep positive and focused on finding your next, better opportunity. I run a company and interview LOTS of people. Two major factors I look for are people who are goal oriented and those who will bring a positive "energy" to our team. The second one is tough when you have been laid off and the last thing you want to do is be negative AT ALL, even when pushed (and the good ones know how to push). Even when they seem to want you to go negative, don't. Jack Welch once said he never hires anyone that has a dark cloud over their head and I have always remembered that.
In addition, this really is an opportunity. I know it is easy for me to say, but I know a lot of people who have gone through this and ended up in a better job that they were happier at. If you focus on that as a goal, and stay positive, it will help you not just in your job search, but in dealing with this in your life.
Good luck my man. We are pulling for you.
CB
Me; 42, W; 43 M; 16 yrs S12, D9
3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure" 5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
