Could this hurt more

[whitneypinch]

I have been separated from my WAW now for 9 months. I went to IC for 7 of those months. My WAW has noted the massive changes in me. I have become the best father I possibly can to my 2 children. Everyone notes this, including her. Even my kids are aware of who I have become to them.
I have done so many 180's, I have GAL and taken up so many new hobbies. My W is nice to me, especially as it pertains to the kids. We text ever few days about the kids. We went to a movie together about a month ago and have gone out once with our kids.
Really, in the grand scheme of things we are as good as it gets. My W is always encouraging me to take the kids more and I do. They are very vocal to her about missing me.
I have stopped initiating contact with her and only respond to her contact.
It's just sooo damn hard to get along well with her, have her note my changes, demonstrate how good of a father I am, GAL and have a PMA and it have no effect. Yes, I know we do this for ourselves but it just rips my heart out...9 months later.
The days after I have my kids are the hardest. I just can't imagine this is how my life is going to be moving forward. I miss my family so much. There are so many great things going on in my life and all I want to do is share them with my family.
Everyone around us just keeps saying over and over to me "I don't get why you two are getting divorced"?
Sorry to vent but I am sooo sad.