How to start from scratch in 12 Mos Separation ?

[SingleDad]

I am acting with my heart and doing what I feel is right at the moment... not following some concept of leaving her cold or moving on... and see if she comes running back... I am trying to appeal to her convictions and morals which are currently distorted by her emotions...

Again I still in my heart feel I need to know in my heart and soul that I did all that I could to save my marriage - moving on and living my separate life does not feel that I was doing all that I could - at least not at this moment

There was an incident - learning about the boyfriend, that stirred up the waters - I am going to use that for a few days to show her how I feel before I go back to simply living my own independent life.

I sent her an e-mail this morning before I logged into this forum that I will share with everyone - again it is against most advice I have read or received here... So far most advice is simply intended to spare me of any more hurt and telling me to move on in my life (as most others have learned that their marriages could not be saved or were in early stages of an affair but still the wayward spouse has conflicting emotions about what to do).


I think I have a limited window to stir things up - and produce some conflict in her between her emotions and her moral convictions - So I am seizing on that oppportunity for a short while... before I go back to living independently.

I e-mailed this to her before I logged in to this forum:

"I am not trying to hurt or anger you. I am trying to show you that you are blinded by your emotions and are living in fantasy land - I am trying to show you the impact you are having in the real world - If you could only see things apart from your emotions

At least you agree that you have not been honest, that you are not honoring your marital vows after only 3 1/2 years, and you are willing to give Brooke a broken home for the rest of her life, because right now you think that is the only way that you can be happy. That is not the only way you can be happy. I understand the pain you were going through - I am going through it now - so I am in a position to understand and make things right between us. I have learned what listening means... I have learned what your emotional needs are. I will be there for you is you just let me

And #1 is also true

You are legally married - currently you cannot re-marry because you are still married to me - You are committing Adultery by definition

I wish you could just see that this boyfriend is giving you comfort and affection while convincing you that you should leave your husband, break up your family, and give Brooke a broken home, and see your daughter only half of the time for the rest of her life going forward

Do you really think you can be fully happy in the long run when you see your daughter only half of the time ? No man can fill that void - at least not long term.

None of this has to happen. We have our share of problems - but we can work on them - I certainly commit myself to making our marriage work

I want you to be happy within our family - I will do every thing in my power to make that happen

During this whole separation process, I have followed through on my word to you - I have shown you that I "set you free" because I love you, I have never lied to you, I have never wronged you, never tried to hurt you - I am just trying to have you see things in the real world. Giving you your freedom in the hopes that you will come back. I know we needed our space to understand where things were going wrong, to understand each other, understand what each other needs, and hopefully be able to reconcile

It is not to late to correct things. We all make mistakes. We are all human.

Most men would have give up a long time ago...my commitment to you during all of this shows you that I love you - there is nothing more powerful than that

I can forgive things and love you if you start making the right decisions - my family can forgive things and love you too if you turn around and do the right things - I will make them understand - that is my promise to you

Nothing is more important to me than having a complete and happy family - nothing

Please don't wait until it is too late."