God give me the patience and the strength...7

[theotherhalf]

Well answered TOH.

WOW! Thank you so much Bill. You really are a special guy. And thank you for understanding.

but any independent human being insists on the right to make their own decisions on how best to proceed.

independent not dependent or needy

It's not a slap in the face to those who have offered advice

Exactly!

But every word that was written to me was pondered, chewed on, and digested. Each of those words contributed in some way to the decisions I later made in handling my situation.

Exactly again!

I still believe that you allow your husband too much influence in your life given the behavior that he has displayed.

I believe this as well. I know it. But at this moment I don't know what to do to change it and continue on this path of a hopeful R.

But I am not there. I do not see all the moments in between

Right. And there is not enough hours in the days to post all that is going on. And what I put here is most of the negs that I don't know how to deal with or that i need advice on or someone to vent to. My H is still a mess. That I cannot or will not deny. But he has changed so so much since the beginning. And those changes are all positives.

Sometimes a whack with the 2x4 is called for

and I deserve them, and try to take them with dignity and learn from my mistakes. I am just slower than some, not easily pursuade, not convinced that the dear people on this board are always right. I know what has worked for some, may not work for us.

Thank you again Bill, and blessings to you as well,
TOH