Sorry Frank. That expressing our opinions about that certain poster inadvertantly caused your previous thread to be locked last night.
I wrote a scathing post about it that I never submitted because I decided to sleep on it.
This morning my opinion remains the same and that is this:
We were all better off before the moderator in question came down to micromanage us. We handled our own issues amongst ourselves. We helped each other up and knocked each other off the high horse when necessary. And we all got along just fine.
That was before earlier this year when sg started to make her presence known by attempting to make herself "one of us" while at the same time repeatedly misusing her authority as a moderator.
What I'd really like to see is an active moderator that actually offered something other than the occasional pat on the back or a swift lockdown when she deems us to be veering off the designated and dictated path.
The poster in question was allowed to repeatedly disrespect all of the people here that tried to help him. The most sg did was tell him to be nice and lock down a couple of his threads when she determined them to be out of hand.
He was allowed by this site to repeatedly discuss the verbal abuse OF his wife, express his wishes to physically abuse his wife, share past incidents in which he'd actually abused his wife physically, mentally and emotionally as well as to freely express the day to day mental and emotional abuse of his young children all without one attempt at intervention by a moderator or an actual REAL crisis counselor.
And on top of that, as if it's not bad enough, this site is now allowing him to post freely to others, to give advice to others, all without having earned his stripes, done his time in the trenches and grow in his own right proving that he actually has something to CONTRIBUTE to these boards.
I think it is disgusting that so long as he parrots DB methods, he is an acceptable person to post to other people in crisis.
It is true that this is a layman's board and none of us are professionals but the vast majority of us have been through the fire and actually know first hand, having experienced trial and error, what we're talking about.
That is why so many of us spent the time that we spent on that individuals thread. Not because we liked being mean to him at times, but because we've each had our own hard lessons learned and our own reality checks and we'd like to think that might allow us to actually help another person.
He steadfastly refused all help and in fact stated that he is not the one in his relationship that needs help.
Had the moderator(s) actually been concerned for that person's children and wife the right thing to have done CAN, in fact, be done. It is possible for an IP address to be used to narrow down the general location of a person. Further investigation could have revealed the location from which that individual posts. If there had been any real concern on the part of the moderators about that family, like the concern that was shown by other posters HERE for that family, steps could have been taken to have a real crisis counselor step in and help them.
Instead, all that has been done by the so-called powers that be is they've shut us up, shut threads down and now they sit idly back and promote, through their failure to act, a lunatic running his own wing in the asylum.
This board ain't what it used to be.
And it used to be much better.
Instead of enhancing it with her presence, sg has fostered anger, mistrust, a general feeling of unfairness and the questioning of the integrity of those that own and run this website.
In most places, when enough complaints are rendered, a person is removed from their position.
That's what needs to happen here.
Much to my disappointment, I have realized that this site is not "for" us. If you have a name that draws readers back, that's all they care about. There is no integrity anymore.
Since the beginning of 2008, this site has been on a downhill slide with repeated strife within our ranks.
9 times out of 10 I guarantee you sg was right in the middle of it in some way, shape or form.
Yet she continues to hold a position as a moderator.
That it inself shows the disrespect and lack of concern that MWD, or whomever she has left in charge, has for the real people that support her work; the people that recommend her books and share her wisdom with others.
If the powers that be really want to make a good business move regarding the boards at this time, removing sg would be the place to start.
Not shutting down and shutting up the longterm, tried and true posters.
Either properly manage us or leave us the hell alone.
But this micromanaging has gone beyond ridiculous.
I YI YI. Sometimes, I'm dyslexic. Does that count?
I'm sorry, Braveheart. I was reading some of the threads here yesterday, and I guess I just wasn't paying attention to all that was going on, plus I was working and in between patrons at the time. Oh well, no excuse. Just a little under the pressure because H is pushing along this divorce.
Anyway, who is Braveheart? Is Braveheart AmyC???? I see that AmyC is on this thread. Allaluhia!
Amy, I read your comment in purple just now, and it is really good. I am in this place with my husband. In fact, last night, I called him (I know, I shouldn't have). The details are in my poet/newcomers thread. My husband is in an angry place right now too, just like someone on this board (can't remember who). And yes, last night when I was talking to him, I asked him..."Do you treat everyone like this, or just me." He said I am the only one, "...who treats me this way," meaning that he is treating me with disrespect because I'm the only person in the world right now who is treating him with some unkindness. I know I've done a lot wrong to make him hurt, but honestly, the only thing I'm doing right now to hurt him, is living in the house while he lives in the camper (in some undisclosed location) and continues to forge ahead with this divorce.
I used the alien phrase on him. I said, "I can't seem to talk you you. It's like we are strangers, like an alien has taken over your body." Boy, that got a reaction out of him. He paused -- a long time before he shot back something. I can't even remember now what that was.
AmyC, you asked about my new handle and I didn't want to answer on my own MLC thread because I was afraid H is reading it. I have three threads out there right now - one in MLC, one in Newcomers and - the one I originally wanted you to look at is called "the eerie story of the life of love." The Handle is *love. It's in the Forgiveness forum. I wrote to you about it on Frank_C's thread one day, but he quickly posted right after that. And, he ended up turning the page. No biggie, just thought I let you know. Anyway, I was originally going to post ALL my wrongdoings there, but something changed when I created the thread. I wanted it to be positive and in the spirit of *doing the right thing." I wanted to forgive my husband. I'm pretty much just journally there now. It's all about forgiveness, and I think it is working.
I must tell you, though, since reading some of your stuff, and since doing some of my *own* thinking (whew, that's a switch) I'm beginning to understand that I must also forgive myself. I'm amazed at how well my *love* thread has been changing my thinking. I'm not angry at him anymore. I still love him, but I'm not sure if he's even right for me.
I was preparing many of my documents yesterday for my lawyer, who, by the way, will be having a phone confernece with his lawyer today at 2 p.m.... And, I saw/in one day from making copies of what I collected etc, all that he's done to me over the past several years. It was heartbreaking, but it was an eyeopener. And, I realized how blindly I trusted him, in the face of adversity. I saw a lot of the answers that Forest was talking about (the post in which I inadvertantly called Braveheart another name). Hope that makes sense. Anyway, my mind is a bit foggy this morning because I had to take a sleeping pill last night and that's all new to me too. I've not taken any drugs in 20 years.
Oh, well, maybe I'll stick around the boards here when I get to work today at 11 a.m. If I think of something else, I'll post to whichever one of my threads is most appropriate. I may even come back her later and cut/paste this to me own thread for documentation purposes.
Good day to all, and keep smiling. Forgiveness and love! poet
Please don't ban AmyC. I have never talked back to SG and I never will. But AmyC, if you are banned, please come back, get a different handle, and REPLY --- Thank you!
You are one of the most trusted posters on these boards and people here need that honesty and input that you provide them.
If they ban you It will be a huge dis-service to the boards and I feel many will leave for another.
This is supposed to be a forum for people to be able to come to for advise and to talk. It needs to be allowed to be the way it was when I first came here.
Right now it is not.
Like I said on my thread to you Amy "You are one interesting Chick" and I still need your input and hope you are here to kick my a$$ and help me to make the decisions that I struggle with.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
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