BM I too have become a much more patient person throughout all of this. It took about 18 months but I finally got there.
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So, my EEG came back, and there is no epileptic activity. Now I have other stuff I have to do.
This is really good news. I never had any epileptic activity on my EEGs either. They categorically told my parents I was not epileptic. I was however put on medication for a couple of years and when I first had a driving licence I had to reapply for it every 3 years. Now I have one just like everyone else - until I am 70. That was a big day for me! When I was about 16 I met and worked with a girl called Maxine. She confessed to me one day that she was epileptic and I told her about my sitch. It was really weird b/c neither of us talked about it normally (even now I don't like talking about it I still feel the stigma). Our symptoms (as in the way the fits started etc) were identical but she was classed as epileptic and I wasn't. Of course now that I work in healthcare I have a better understanding. Interestingly last year at uni we had to do a case study when we did our pharmacology model and I chose to do an epileptic patient. I learnt so much and I am far more comfortable with my former status than i ever was.
Today my S16 and his GF came for thier tea. It was a very late tea b/c S16 was working until 6pm and then he wanted to go home and get a shower and then pick up his GF before he came here. It has been a pleasant evening. It's a long time since we have been able to be in each other's company for that length of time and not fall out about something so I am really happy.
For the first time since he went to live with his dad I am more at ease with it. I'm not sure how but we ended up talking about religion (his GFs parents are buddist and are disappointed that she wants to be a christian). Anyway, I didn't think any of my children were religious (in fact D18 has categorically told me that she doesn't believe in God) but today S16 recounted a story to me about him being upset on his way back to Hs from GFs. He stopped at a church and was just asking in his head 'Why?' When the church bells rang. It was about 11.15pm and so he wasn't expecting the bells to ring. He thought it was God answering his prayers. His GF has since told him that the church clock chimes every 15 mins BUT the point is that he then went on to tell my D13 that if you believed in God you never felt alone. I was so proud of him. I didn't say anything but I now feel as if he was meant to go and live with H to watch over him. I didn't want God to take away my S16 (as it has felt up to now) but if it is for a good reason like this I can accept it better.
H rang about 9.30pm to tell S16 he should be home by now and aksed why I hadn't taken him home. S16 TMd him back and said we had all had a glass of wine with our meal and that therefore I couldn't drive him home. His response was well you had better set off walking then! Typical. D18 came home soon after and offered to take them both home which they accepted but we carried on talking and eventually S16s GFs parents called to say they were cross with her for being late and that they were on their way to get them. We hadn't done this on purpose we were just having a nice time chatting. I had offered for S16 to stay the night but he has to be at college in the morning and didn't have any things with him.
Life feels good right now. I know there will be another fall of the rollercoaster soon but for now I feel peaceful.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
No TL I've not been affected by the floods. We are right at the top of a very big hill so if floods were to hit us it would require the return of Noah's Ark
Thank you for thinking of me.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
Today I received a letter from my L. My H wants custody of our D13. He has made so many accusations about me it is unbelievable. D13 doesn't want to go and live with H but that's what my S16 always maintained and look what happened there.
This man will not be happy until he has ruined me emotionally and financially. I do not deserve that.
For the first time in a long time I am scared for my future.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
oh no! that is crazy! the courts just have to take in account yoru d13's preference, and she is old enough to deny any of his accusations! don't be scared hon, the truth is on your sidek, stay strong))))))))))))
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
I am scared. Everything and I mean everything has gone Hs way so far in the last 3yrs. I have learnt to live without him. It is hard but I have done it. I'm not sure I can learn to live without any of my children with me. I need your prayers now more than at any othe time.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
A, I would fight this. Your daughter is old enough to have a say in whether or not she wants to live w/her father. Another way point you may want to make if this should continue, is that he has one child live w/him and you have the other child live w/you.
Your h is just out to make your life miserable. He reminds me of a child that scoops up all of the jacks and goes him w/them. He doesn't want to share one thing w/you, and yet, you were the one that was there for him all of those years. This is very sad and it makes me angry to see such goings on.
I definitely would bring out the big guns on this one and fight him tooth and nail for my daughter. He certainly hasn't been spot on as a father figure to your son since your son moved in w/him. I can't even imagine him wanting his daughter too.
I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thank you Snodderly. I do intend to fight him tooth and nail on this issue. I also hope to be able to prove that my son would be better of with me. When I think about it I should have expected this. When we were together if we ever argued (which in the end was a lot) and things got nasty he would always tell me that if I left him he would fight me for the kids and even make out I was a bad mother if he had to. I'm just wondering what took him so long.
My D13 did ring him yesterday when I told her what he had put in the letter concerning her. She was VERY annoyed and so didn't exactly come across very well but she is 13! Unfortunately whilst telling him in no uncertain terms that she didn't want to go and live with him she said 'Tell you what dad when (OW's name) moves out I'll move in'. I really wish she hadn't said that b/c I can envisage him faking a break up just to get my D13 and then her miraculously move back in again.
If this is test from God as to how strong my faith is I really hope it's the final one b/c I'm not sure I can take anymore.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
