ACJ, you should send nlt or YR some rain, I have enough – LOL.
Yes, H's e-mails WERE civil again recently, and I almost forgot that before they weren't. Just when I thought he is OK, he sends me a "half nasty", manipulative e-mail again.
H called me by my name. First he thanked me for my help. Then he went on saying that he feels resentment towards me because I will take money on the property making a loss. It is impossible for him to overcome that feeling. Again he mentioned that he cannot stay at the place because he feels so bad. Whether I am sure I want to do this!!!!!!
I am really fed up with this. As soon as I recover a bit from being sad and I start enjoying the beautiful countryside and my friends, he comes up with sum rubbish. I just had it!!! I was so sad and angry at the same time and thought that through all my married time I always did everything to make him happy. And even after he left me I did whatever HE wanted.
I think this was the last straw. I think it is better for me to get divorced and have very little contact with him. I cannot get on with my life, and it always throws me back to square one. Sometimes I wish I had not agreed to stopping the divorce process.
I was so happy in the morning since the weather is beautiful. I intended to go on a boat trip when I opened H's e-mail. I used to not check them until the evening if I thought it would be something nasty from H, but recently they really were civil. But bang –I got another one.
I just cannot go on like this anymore. I will reply in a few days and let him know how I feel about everything. There is no point in not letting him know about my feelings anymore.
I would like to write the following to him:
That I am sorry he feels that way, but if he ever thought how I feel. That I did everything possible to accommodate him ever since he left. And that he did not give me any money out of his free will. That I am not willing to support any of his GFs. That I have the feeling he blames me for all the mistakes HE made. That they were all HIS decisions.
That I had the feeling he did not really want to give us another chance. That he will never come back in any case and that I have to look out for myself as he will not look after me in future anymore, and that I don't intend to support his GFs.
That I am very sad that the person I married does not exist anymore. That he used to be so kind and loving, now I have the feeling that he has only resentment left for me and the rest of the world. That he only thinks of himself and doesn't care about me or anybody else anymore. ---------
Any thoughts or advice? I would appreciate some comments. Thanks a lot for being here to listen.
A GF just called me a few minutes ago and we will go to the beach instead of me going on a boat trip. At least I will have some company today. She is nice and fun to be with, and she has lots of time so we can do things together.
