I have now at least accepted the fact that its over. I will no longer chase her or send her anymore emails or texts. I now realize that we had a very unhealthy marriage and maybe...its for the best that she initiated this. I do not think I would have done anything, as I loved my children too much to put them through this. The three of them are such good kids and I just want them to be happy and healthy.
Nevertheless, my eldest is having a tough time with it and wants to talk to someone. I think its a good idea, but I am uncomfortable tot have her speak to anybody at her school--since my wife is very active in the PTA and knows everyone. I have already scheduled appointments with all three of my children's teachers and will discuss with my lawyer counseling for my daughter by a third unbiased individual.
I spoke with a DB Counselor yesterday and it was very helpful. I am working on stage 1 which is to disconnect and to avoid emotions with my wife. I hope to get to stage 2 which is friendship/respectful cordiality with my wife soon as its extremely important for the kids.
I do feel better as I have intensified my workouts and lost 20 lbs and got contacts. Even though I am 40, I feel and look 8-10 years younger. Also, my other partners at the law firm have been extremely helpful and supportive. After 15 years of working in the law field and having to climb the legal ladder, I am finally feeling at home for the first time. I know there is only one place to go--that is up.
I am now starting to feel better, but there is still much ahead. Yes I am scared and fearful, but at least I now now I am heading in the right direction. Karen, thanks for the compliment, as that is my first and middle name..........
Please keep in touch as all the kind words avoid the feeling of loneliness.
