RTL, So glad to hear your L is taking action. I know this is not what you want and it makes you sad. Your W has played on your desire to get back together and taken advantage. The one positive thing is that it may force things to a head and give you closure. I know it is heart breaking for you to have to do this but the sooner it is over with, the sooner you can start to heal. If your W had any desire to fix the marriage she would not be with other men. Her trying to justify the "sleepover" and asking you to meet the OM shows that in her mind the she is already divorced and just waiting for the paper work. Eventaully you may realize it is her loss.
