Well basically he went to one AIT but now wants to switch MOSs and do something else and depending on what he decided to do he could be gone anywhere from 3-12 months. If it was only 3 months it would not be worth the stress of moving and all that but if it was longer I would rather go with him and not risk another long separation. He had an injury and just recently got some of that sorted out so now he has a couple more hoops to go through and then he will have to make a decision of what to so. He scored so high on the ASFAB (is that right? lol) that his recruiter opened up the job book and asked what he wanted to do. So he can do anything, literally. Now he just has to decide what he wants to do.
Anyways I wanted to throw in a little more detail about the first time he went away. When he left he was crazy emotional. Crying all the time, huge breakdown the night before and at the airport the next morning. He even told me that he had thrown up because of it. Combo of nerves and not wanting to leave me behind. I was sad that he was sooo upset but at the same time it kind of made me happy because I really felt loved that he was so upset to go. Does that make any sense? Anyways the first few months he was away he was emotional still, when we did talk on the phone he would always break down. He wanted to get out of the army and come home again because he missed me and all that. He had a few set backs physically (shoulder injury) and was a hold over several times so he was frustrated about that on top of everything else. But eventually he made it through and shipped to AIT. He had a few hold overs there too and we were both going insane. His whole training was supposed to be 4 months but it ended up being over 6 months. Ahhh!
Anyways towards the end of his training he started getting distant. Not writing as much, not wanting to talk on the phone everyday and when we did talk he kept it short and would talk about how he would be going out with his buddies soon. I got mad and felt rejected because I would wait by the phone all day to hear from him and then he would want to go off to the club after ten minutes. Anyways we had plenty of arguments about that. And when he came home we were happy for awhile but never all the way back together. It just felt like there was a wall between us and that is when he started talking about needing his freedom and having his own life. Blah blah blah.
I just felt/feel so frustrated because I was a good wife. I "let" him join the guard even though I was apprehensive and I supported him and sent him gifts and cards and letters. I was always there 100% and gave my everything and then he comes home and acts like this?
Sigh.
I guess in a way I can relate to your W in that I feel like I gave everything to make him happy and that I got left behind in the process, left in the shadows (I think that is how you put it)
You're right though. It is good that he sees us as great friends and I know that is the foundation to this whole thing. I just don't know what it is going to take for him to realize that we are so much more.
