It's All I Can Do...

[Bagheera]

Cinco, man: KEEP THE FAITH!

You've only been trying to improve your relationship for 2-3 months now: your first post here is dated 6/20/08. It's only been the summer, so far -- changing things takes TIME, with many backslides into old behavior. It's two steps forward, 1.9 steps back sometimes.

I know where you are coming from. I still spend the occasional night lying awake, frustrated, and downstairs on the couch where my brooding, thrashing about, and sighing won't keep her awake. This was *especially* true during the first few months of our SSM recovery. Yes, I had her on board, but NO, changes don't miraculously occur overnight. But after each night on that couch (which she hated as well), we picked ourselves up and tried again, and again, and again, and slowly got better over time.

So, expect the occasional sleepless night, punch a pillow, come vent here, give it 24 hours or so....and then get back in the game and keep working to make YOURSELF better. You can't change her, you can't force her to change -- all you can do is improve yourself and SHOW HER the changes you are willing to make for both of your benefits.

Hang in there,

-- B.