Journaling, Well, when I look quickly at my last few posts they seem to be so doom and gloom. So on a better note, there have been some improvements in my sitch lately.
My H has been staying here regulary 5 days a week. The other two nights he has his gigs, and then we go our seperate ways home.
He only went to the bar 3 times last week. That is way better than every night-all night.
He does admit that he has a drinking problem with out me bugging him anymore, now I try to support him and reward him when he makes healthy choices.
He just put in a hot tub at my place that he got in exchange for a roof job he did. He lives in an apartment so we put it here. We still need to hookup the electrical.
We are starting two new bowling leagues on the weekends together, one with my family and our old friends and the other league with his friends from his band.
We have created a balence between hanging out with our old friends and his new friends and a even a bit with my family. It feels good, like he is finally starting to trust enough to commit more.
He said the other day, that he was actually starting to think about wanting to have kids more and more lately. I was shocked. He said this to me last spring also in one of our short attempts to reconcile. He knows I want to have kids within a few years and he has always been kindof negative about the idea in the last few years. So he knows where I stand and I have now backed off. It is amazing to hear him now being the one to bring it up unprovoked.
I am happy, I love my H with all my heart. I hated being away from him, I missed his touch and care. I feel blessed to have this opportunity to reconcile with my H. I hope that some day we are healthy enough in our M to have kids together.
