I agree with ya there about control. Although sometimes I wonder if it's also a struggle of or for being so independent. Myself, I'm a very independent person & wonder if men have a difficult time dealing w/that?
Me39, XH45 Kids 3 dogs, 2 cats Divorced 6/4/09 Tricky thing is not how you live, but how you live with yourself. (POTC)
I know (((Daisy))) my xh still finds ways that I'm being controlling. At least I do try to take his word for it. For example he says I try and control his time by saying "are you going already" or "stay a bit" so now I just try and let him go.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
That's good progress Jen. I'm working on it. We were supposed to go out tonight but he cancelled to go play waterpolo with his guy friends. In the past I would've flipped! out and threw a fit but instead I affirmed him plans and told him I was happy he was going to play again (it's something he hasn't done in a long long time) and he was sweet about it and made plans for us to get together tomorrow instead so it's all good.
My husband put that on his counseling list. That he wants someone who is independent and it kinda hurt because I would rather that he want to be with me but I also need to trust that when he gets enough alone time he will come back to me. But it's hard to take that first step.
