I know just how you feel. It gets to the point of, "whatever". You get tired of not being yourself. I think you did fine. You are not a doormat, you have a life, she needs to respect your time. You had legitimate boundary setting issues.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11