Divorced but hoping to Reconcile

[forward]

"To further complicate things, she has a best friend (that's a male) that she has known for about 20 years. Her best friend has always been there for her and my daughter, especially when I left the house."

I missed that the friend is male. I have a crush on a male friend. He is divorced but committed to his kids. We talk about kids a lot. That is very attractive to me. He has listened to me at very difficult times, although I have been careful not to divulge too much and would not describe him as a best friend. Nor would I move in with him!

But I'll be honest. I don't have much in common with him. He became more attractive when I felt most rejected and have the least hope w/H. I'm kind of in a neutral mode with him at the moment because I am starting to feel better about myself.

Unfortunately when I am more neutral, I think this makes me more attractive to him! I think he wants to see what happens w/H.

If H showed interest and willingness to work and take responsibility for his actions, as you have, it would make Crushee much less attractive. Ultimately I would prefer to have a new and improved R w/H but don't see it as a possibility.