I am working on it... today is a very rough day for me. It is our first year anniversary so I added salt to my wound and watched our video and looked through some pictures.
I dream about him, he is the first person I think of when I wake up in the morning, and all I do is wonder if he will even think about me today because its our anniversary.
I am fighting myself not to send him an email or a text. I know if I do that it will only show weakness. But how else will he know all of these thoughts that I have and things that I want to say. We haven't said much these past few weeks and I just want him to know that I am thinking about him. I know I would be backsliding....
Any words of wisdom?
Me35/H35 D16/SS14 M-1yr/known H 18yrs 1st Bomb: 4/26 OW35 2nd Bomb: 8/17 OW21 Moved out 8/21/08 H filed D on 9/9/08
God determines who walks into your life...it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.
Don't do it. He will remember believe me, but it will fill him with guilt. You contachim, it eases his guilt.
Your title drew me in, my W has not exactly had affairs, but has had 3 one night stands, twice with 2 of he same men and possibly more. I've only literally detached myself (i'm in newcomers for full details) and it was tough. It's taken me 7 months and I wish I'd got here sooner. I became fed up with my W and her behaviour and don't want to be associated with what she has become, she can figure it all ot for herself.
We are seperated yes. I've been at my mums for 3 weeks (2 they were on hols), but I'm going home Sunday and asked my W to do alternate weeks until D is final.
Been married for 7 years and have 2 boys 6 and 2. I've just properly detached and I'm enjoying life. Completely miss the day to day interaction with my kids but the time I have with them now seems more QT than before so that is good.
Not sure what forum I'm going to next, maybe one more thread in newcomers, then decide. Might put it to a vote on my next thread.
So, how did anniversary go ? Any contact from H ? (as I know you didn't contact him right ????)
It was a very long and mentally exhausting day. He did not contact me at all and I did not contact him even though I was very close at times but I resisted.
I cried alot. I just want this all to end and have him back in my life and my daughter's life. I don't want it to be the way it was. I want it to be a new beginning for us.
I have to believe this was meant to happen. I have to believe we will have a closer relationship once this passes. I do not want to give up. I do not want to let go.
I barely eat. I have no energy to do anything. All I want to do is sleep. I'm at work because I absolutely have to or else I would just be at home.
Me35/H35 D16/SS14 M-1yr/known H 18yrs 1st Bomb: 4/26 OW35 2nd Bomb: 8/17 OW21 Moved out 8/21/08 H filed D on 9/9/08
God determines who walks into your life...it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.
how else will he know all of these thoughts that I have and things that I want to say. We haven't said much these past few weeks and I just want him to know that I am thinking about him
He doesn't care if you are thinking about him or what you have to say. He has OW. When you consider how your husband thinks of you, imagine yourself as a pest (a fly or something). If he was interested in your anniversary (and I will bet he's not...he's wrapped up in someone else) or in you, he'd be the one initiating.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
It was a very long and mentally exhausting day. He did not contact me at all and I did not contact him even though I was very close at times but I resisted.
I cried alot. I just want this all to end and have him back in my life and my daughter's life. I don't want it to be the way it was. I want it to be a new beginning for us.
I have to believe this was meant to happen. I have to believe we will have a closer relationship once this passes. I do not want to give up. I do not want to let go.
I barely eat. I have no energy to do anything. All I want to do is sleep. I'm at work because I absolutely have to or else I would just be at home.
I know this is hard. I know it's crushing. But believe me, as a man, that it's unattractive. I'd run for the hills.
Consider something would you? Your husband has cheated twice in a 5 month marriage. Doesn't that make you mad? Doesn't it make you question whether you would want him? And yet, here you are pining away like he's all that and a bag of chips. HE doesn't deserve YOU; not the other way around. Get back on your feet. Start looking good. Start feeling good. Flirt and see how it feels. Smile at people just for the sake of it, even when you don't feel like it. SHINE! Don't think about your husband or your marriage for awhile. It's not going anywhere. Instead, think about what you are going to do with your life now that he's gone. Is this what it is going to consist of? Work on yourself, and if your husband doesn't notice, at the very least you'll be happy with yourself.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
I am planning a trip to Chicago to visit my cousin out there for my birthday on the 17th. I would fly out on the 18th and stay til Sunday evening. She wants to take me out on the town and just hang out. I'm hoping to get standby tickets from my uncle who retired from a well known airlines.
If I can get the tickets I will go. I have to get out of here and start to feel good about me.
I just want to wake up from this nightmare already. I guess I'm just impatient. Time heals all wounds right? Time will tell. Time is on my side...
My job doesn't help though. I have not been happy at my job for a long time. I'm going to put in for a transfer and see what happens.
I told him last Friday he has until the 26th of this month to use the truck that I bought a few years back. This truck is in the bankruptcy I filed for myself and if I'm paying for it then its mine. He will have to find his own transportation. I'm sure the OW won't mind driving him to work everyday. HA!!! That will get old real fast.
Me35/H35 D16/SS14 M-1yr/known H 18yrs 1st Bomb: 4/26 OW35 2nd Bomb: 8/17 OW21 Moved out 8/21/08 H filed D on 9/9/08
God determines who walks into your life...it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.
Hey Marisol, I saw your name on this thread. Glad you made it through. Like Phoenix's attitude. It's true is H home crying for you? no. You need to raise up for your self up and GAL. No matter what happens we need to take care of ourselves first and foremost. It kills me sometimes to leave my house and go walk on the beach knowing that my H might be leaving any day. But what good would it do sitting there crying over him. H and me would hate it. I am really trying. We also work together so it is hard to have no contact with him, but today I saw him when I was returning to work and he waves at me and stands there. I wave and drove on. Then I start to walk back in and I see him coming my way from a distance and I wave and walk right in without speaking to him. Trying to give him space and wonder where I was. I have stopped calling him unless absolutely need to and now he has been doing all the calling. He has OW and I hope it burns itself out but he is miserable with all this hiding and lying. Now get busy and call someone. Take a walk, go see a movie. get going. I know you can do it. Set a goal, when he calls you next time Don't pick up...make him wonder. go!
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
