What do I do now?

[lost3031]

I figured I would start a new thread since the old one is getting pretty long... So I'm beginning (and note that is a very slight beginning) to see the light on the direction my life needs to take and I'm thinking that I need to start making my way back home to H. The thing is, I have no idea how to make that first step when I still have so many doubts and feelings of inadequacies in my head. I don't feel like I deserve to go back home, I feel like my H deserves much better than me, and I feel like there would be an enormous amount of pressure on my shoulders the moment I walk back into that house. H and I both know that it is going to be a long haul back... we're very good at pretending that everything is okay but I don't want it to be like that anymore! I don't want to pretend because that's where we got in trouble the first time around. I'd really like to "date" H for a while, not as we were but as we should have been, and see how things go. Has anyone had any experience with this method? I'm open to any tips anyone has on how to start the process back...