New month, new strategy

[istherehope]

Thanks JCJ,

I know I panic, but H has all these self-help books about love addictions and co-dependency, and I think he is really afraid that being with me makes him this way. I know that I am doing everything pretty much right at this stage in terms of what I myself can do, at least for the past 10 days I have been in DB terms, so that is good. I am only here until Wednesday morning, so if H doesn't want to see me tomorrow night, then that's that for potentially 5 more weeks...Anyway I truly hope today left him with a good feeling for me, so to speak, plus now he has some interesting pictures :).

I won't be here when he gets home as he has this temporary roommate who gets home at 630 PM. H won't be home 'til 10 PM or so. I'll be out of the house in the next 2 hours probably. It's just that I'm so comfortable here now...after all it IS my home even if I need to pretend like it's not for awhile. I did compliment H on the way the house looked. Sadly he put away all of the pictures of me EXCEPT this one of he and I together in Wales. It is nice that he left that one up.

Well I won't be too available tomorrow as I have meetings all day, so won't even be online until about 1130, and then only sporadically. I don't really expect H to invite me out, but I do think it's weird that he might not want to.

Thing is that I'm pretty unhappy in Poland, and realizing I'm so much happier here, also because it forces me to actually do work whereas there I'm a bit of a slacker... I'm there now at this point basically just because I committed to it for H. Of course I cannot tell him that. I need to act as-if it's great. He hasn't really asked me anything about it though. It's as-if my life doesn't exist there to him. I have made a few joking comments here and there about the food being bad, but that's really it, and he's never asked.

Glad to hear that you think his reaction was a good one :). It wasn't entirely shocking as it was the one way that he could retain control of the situation in every way. I don't think this is intentional, but rather just the way that he is. I didn't really think he'd want me to stay, but the way he said it at first I actually did think so for a minute...

I do have to ask about the session at some point though as we have one scheduled for the day after tomorrow, and he knows this. I guess on Wednesday morning I'll send a very quick email like "Just checking if you want to go ahead with tonight's call or whether you'd prefer me to push it out a couple weeks?"

Anyway thanks for the nice post.

By the way, which weekend did you say you'd be away this month? If H isn't going to Prague, then I think I should go to London for a night. It would be great to meet some other DBers.

ITH