puppy said her reaching to me for comfort ismt about me yet......how will I know when it is ?
You'll be able to tell the difference, trust me.
It may be when OM comes and wants her back, and she turns him down to work on her marriage. Or it may be in the remorse and contrition she expresses about how she hurt YOU, and not just how she's hurtING. But there will be a maturity and an authenticity to her that you will be able to sense, as you know her better than all of us put together.
I was told this in my own situation, one day when my wife asked me to go out to Starbucks with her to talk, and she cried, and hugged me, and told me how sorry she was she hurt me. "Crocodile tears," I was warned, and as it turned out, they were absolutely right. It was more than a month later when she REALLY was ready to leave her affair and to reconcile, and yeah, I could tell the difference right away.
Problem is, at the time (the first time), I couldn't tell. But later, when i got the REAL remorse, I could tell the difference.
Another way is how they react when you tell them "no" to something. My wife's tearful pleas at the Starbucks that morning centered around her begging me NOT to go thru with requesting custody of our boys, or -- as she put it -- "taking my boys away from me" (even though she would have had 50% visitation). She was sweet as pie until she saw that I wasn't going to tell her "yes, I'll withdraw the motion," and then she was neutral and quiet for a week. Then when I told her I hadn't changed my mind at all, she went OFF on me and got all full of spew and venom.
We're back together, the divorce action was finally mutually withdrawn back in April, and while we continue to struggle with our SSM issues, we are best friends once again and there has been no repeat infidelity.
Just saw my wife. She went into great detail about how OM is a POS and how he didn't tell his parents yet or get kicked out of his house, but most importantly....
My wife said she is 'spending time' with someone, 'just flirting' basically.....
Another major blow.
Not an ex, someone new. Not sure if the guy knows she's pregnant.
Devastated once again
M 31 W 26 M 6 S 6 S 3 Separated 6/2008 Back together 10/2008 All you need is love
ok well after everything that I heard today I have lost all momentum in regards to how I've been doing. Thought maybe there was a chance in hell that she'd come back now, woops. How many guys does she need to go through ? She just got pregnant and the guy left her, now she is fishing elsewhere? Come on
Sorry the vent/rant
M 31 W 26 M 6 S 6 S 3 Separated 6/2008 Back together 10/2008 All you need is love
