Hi Jeff. You are the first post I have really read from start to finish. I am still over in newcomers but felt my W is in a MLC for a while so I'm reading some thread.
Sorry to hear your predicament, you are being a wondeful dad and human being going through all this. After reading your thread I am even more convinced, except my W it is not one man, it is any man with a pulse from what I can gather. She only goes out about once a fortnight, but her night is not complete without going back to a mans house !!
Anyway, nuff bout me on yours, will be tracking now.
germ04 how have you been, hope everything is going good for you
Arthur, thanks for the kind words, I'm trying to be the best dad I can.
W came over to pick up the kids for school, I'm totally dark so I don't even acknowledge she is even there, she use to whine to me all the time, no matter how hard I worked, she worked harder, no matter how tired I was she was more tired. My D9 made a comment at breakfast this morning about how tired D9 was, W right on cue told D9 about how she had to work a double shift and how tired she was.
W promised to take kids to zoo Sat because last Sunday when they were suppose to be with W, her plans changed and W dropped the kids off with me, well, we are getting the remnants of the last hurricane and it is expected to rain everyday until Monday. Guess W will have to promise them something else
two of the 7 emails I received from W today
To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.' When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. Concentrate on this sentence... 'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.' Something good will happen to you today; something that you have been waiting to hear. This is not a joke; someone will call you by phone or will speak to you about something that you were waiting to hear
Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile. Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we should dance.
I didn't respond when W made her comments to D9 this morning and I didn't respond to any of her e-mails I'm going to: Just keep swimming, just keep swimming
M45 W41 M10.75 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 W files for D 07/18/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
Can't you block that stuff if you don't want to deal with it. I am sure she isn't reading it with the intent it was written and is twisiting to provide justification.
Keep on swimming, I am keeping an eye on you. Hugs.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
W's email doesn't bother me, I get a kick out of them, I just wonder if she is reading them
kat, I think the same thing, trying to justify her actions. I think its funny. I try to be cordial and meet her halfway on things dealing with the kids (her quote biggest concern) and I know like last weekend, the kids won't be with her much because they cut into her party time.
What's wierd is I know I'm getting better, less anger and pain - moving on with my life. W seems to be moving in the opposite direction, at some point she is going to crack and its going to be bad. Reality has a way of kicking you in the ass.
getting better, looking forward to my life with my kids
Just keep swimming just keep swimming
M45 W41 M10.75 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 W files for D 07/18/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
I tripped out when the wife purposely sent one of them to me. I couldn't figure out HOW to take it. wdid thought it was her way of saying she is moving on with out me. Don't know.
Keep up the breaststroke.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
I just finished my Parenting class - required in Missouri - they teach you what kind of warning signs and other things to look out for and how children of different ages cope with D.
My kids are doing fine, but I need to keep an eye on them.
tonight, got 3 compliments from the kids.
1. told them I was going to a parenting class to be a better father, they told me I didn't need a class, that I was already the best dad ever. 2. when I left for class all the kids were hanging on me kissing me goodbye, D9 said I was becomming a mom. She sees me doing laundry, making breakfest, lunches and dinner everyday, cleaning, helping the kids with their homework, giving the kids baths, etc. 3. when I got home from class I asked the babysitter if she had any problems, she said no, except S5 didn't want to go to bed without kissing his dad goodnight.
I went up to see the little ones as soon as I got home, they were all in bed sleeping quietly, wow I'm so lucky to have them in my life, its hard sometimes, but I'm getting better, always have been better with the kids, I never cry over spilled milk. W would always freak out if they spilled anything.
Just keep swimming just keep swimming
M45 W41 M10.75 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 W files for D 07/18/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
Nemo, you brought tears to my eyes. They are so sweet. You are doing it right. Even sweeter since S15 and I were going back and forth last night. He was trying to tell me how to punish everyone when they are bad, but of course not himself!
Keep swimming.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
You are doing everything right. You are focusing on the kids, being a great father, set limits with W because she is choosing OM, and not starting a new relationship.
You are right...she will crash hard. I'm surprised she hasn't yet actually.
Hey kat and whatdidido thanks for checking in on me, the kids are keeping me focused. W was going to take kids to zoo tomorrow - but its raining, so alternate plan is pick them up at noon, lunch, roller-skating till 4:00 pm then drop them back with me. She will get her fix being with them for a half of a day
When I talked to her, because its raining, she really didn't want to keep them with her at the apartment because 1. there is nothing for them to do and 2. they are not allowed to run around (her words)
I'm being accommodating, because the kids need to be with their mother, I would never deny them of being with her.
whatdidido, W will crash at some point, right now everything is easy on her, I'm still giving her money every month (Sept is last month) and I'm still covering all her insurance, auto and medical, which will end when D is final. When we start sharing the job of taking the kids to school in several months, I'm backing off of this right now, because I don't what her flipping out before the D paperwork is final, but she knows at some point she won't get to see the kids every morning. Then reality will give her a big swift kick - I know it will be hard on her and I don't wish her any pain, but it was her choice
Kat - I still crave the touch of a woman, I'm a strange bird, I'm decisive and know what I want at home and at work, I'm confident and outgoing but around women I'm extremely shy. Not ready for anything now, I feel I need to get through D and the holiday season, maybe early next year.
until then I'll
Just keep swimming just keep swimming
M45 W41 M10.75 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 W files for D 07/18/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
