NLT, I have been reading your thread this morning, I want you to know that I feel for you and can really understand what you are going through. I can really relate to what you are thinking right now, I dont know if you have ever stopped by my thread but it is so similar. It is strange when you read these threads and they are so similar to our own, I have to tell you quickly, there was nothing wrong between ex and I when he made the decision to leave, we too had been out for the evening, came home and he states hes decided to leave me, yes it too felt like my heart had been ripped out, there was nothing at all that I could see that had caused this, and there had definately been no clues or talks from ex although he did say he had been trying hard to make things work, he wasnt any different throughout though so I guess that was a lie. he also said there was no one else and said he wouldnt do that to me, he needed space and was going to stop in a hotel and look for somewhere to live, within 2 months,not sure how long it could have been less, he moves in with her, and I find it strange that she signed up for their house the day he left me, seems to all fit in and so does the amount of money he had used, within 4 months they were to be engaged and then married just 15 months after leaving, it is all so bizarre, he threw us out on the streets, my son and I. what I am saying nlt is the fact that all I wanted to know was what I had done wrong and how could he just walk away and act as if I never meant anything to him, he also doesnt bother with his only child for 18 months, they are so in a pickle nlt I fully believe that one day it is all going to get repaid to these men, they cannot do this to us lbs and children and not have some regret or remorse, but all you can do in the mean time is gal and do things you enjoy, you are doing a spot of home improvements it is things like this that help you get through it, sorry for the lengthy post I just found it fascinating that your ex as done exactly the same as mine. Dont forget nlt what goes around comes around, and theyll reap what they sow. hugs
Thank you for posting to my thread. I haven't stopped by your thread yet but I will. It does sound like our stitch's are similar. My H stayed here in the house with me for 5 months after he told me he wanted a D, he moved to the guest room. But if he had not stayed here I would not have found out about OW. I did lots of snooping! I even got into his emails from work, he threatened to press criminal charges against me, but he was only trying to get me to go along with what he wanted. I had a PI run a report on this OW & found out she had been M at least 3 times, my H hates stuff like that. Anyway, she had redone his resume & sent it to him on the 4th of Sept. he told me on the 6th. I know she chased after him & he let her catch him. I agree I believe they will reap what they sow. I just find it strange that my H didn't even know her, only met her on a scuba diving trip in June & 2 months later he tells me he wants a D, she lives in another state. He didn't go & see her in between those times either, so they only got to know each other by email & phone calls.
No worries on the long post, I enjoy reading & love the support!!!
You bad girl for doing all of that snooping!!!!!!!! Just kidding.
I had a PI report run on ow as well about three years ago. Not one time in that report did it say she was ever married. H says she was but her H died over 30 years ago in a car accident. I told him that did not jive with the age of her daughter. I told him there was no record of her ever being married.
He said nothing. That is all in the past thank goodness.
I don't want to look back anymore, I just want to go forward.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Oh, you wouldn't believe all the snooping I did!!! I even amazed myself!!! But if I had not I would not have found out about OW. I kept it to myself too until he found out that I got into his emails. I found out about her Sept. 26th & he found out that I knew Nov. 1st. On the nights he was telling me how bad a person I was & blaming me for everything (none made sense)I wanted to tell him so many times that I knew about her but I kept quite. I don't know how but I did.
I am glad that part of my life is in the past. It was a rough time, I still didn't know how he could face me after what he had done. After he found out that I knew about OW, that night he stayed at a motel, he didn't come home.
The report on this woman had her name changing several times. It was a 24 page report on her. The PI told me that was the most they had ever had on one person.
Wow--she sounds like a winner--not. If she has had that many name changes, I would imagine she will not be with your H very long.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Yeah NLT she really sounds like a winner - not, but are the ow's ever winners. I hardly doubt that. At first it may seem like fairytale love, but eventually the true person is exposed with all thier lovely faults.
Time will tell!
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
have to say nlt, yes my ex disliked that sort of woman too but guess what she has been married three times before him also and has had should we say more than ample men in her time, he strongly disliked that kind of woman, and also the size of her, he disliked large women, by large I dont mean the mediochre kind I mean everyone says she is huge, it is as I have said before she is everything he absolutely did not like in a woman, well hes got one now, and I doubt if she'll let go until the money as gone.
I just have to chime in in response to Mandy's post--my H's OW is huge too! He described her to me by comparing her size to someone we both know, and then said, "Even if she lost a LOT of weight, she'd still be a big girl." And before he got involved with her, he never expressed any particular interest in any woman who wasn't petite (like me)! Of course, H and OW met through an internet game (Second Life), so he claims that until the day he met her in person, with the plan to spend the next four days alone with her in the hotel room he had booked for them (which he did), he had no clue what she looked like! And he hasn't said this to me, but it's my guess that they tell each other that they "fell in love with each other's personalities" so what they look like didn't matter. Although I'm sure they tell each other "You're gorgeous." My H is pretty attractive, I think, but I definitely wouldn't have been interested in a 40-something man when *I* was in my early 20s!! Especially if he was MARRIED! Ewwww!
To my knowledge, my H's OW has never been married--she is 23 and still in college! But *supposedly* she was a virgin when they met. Even if that was true, it isn't any more, though.
Okay, this whole line of discussion is making me nauseated.
NLT, I hope you are doing better. I feel for you, hon; this has gone so fast for you that I'm sure your head is spinning! Be good to yourself and find something you can do TODAY that you will enjoy.
Blessings and peace, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
Are you on FB? I have to ask you this because you sitch is so similar to mine. I'm about to go through the big D, and I want to get your feedback, but not on these boards. I would like to talk to you privately.
Although I'm sure they tell each other "You're gorgeous." My H is pretty attractive, I think, but I definitely wouldn't have been interested in a 40-something man when *I* was in my early 20s!! Especially if he was MARRIED! Ewwww!