Great to hear the story of how you two first connected. It sounds like he was crazy in love with you to begin with, which is VERY promising. (I can see how you pursued him in the begining, which maybe wasnt so good though - what do you think?)
Now I remember about your B's love languages, they are the trickiest given its long distance hey?
What's in your 3 page apology letter? I dont think you should apologise for anything, but it might be interesting to turn an apology around into something to admire him for??
I agree that if you want to tell him that he made a good decision it has to come from the heart. In my sitch it really came from my heart, because I could see how much he had struggled and how he must have felt like he had no choice, so I was glad that he did actually did make a decision instead of staying with me and being miserable. I also knew that he was getting a lot of slack from friends and family about his decision to leave etc, and so it helped that I seemed to be the only one who understood, and that it eased his guilt slightly. But I dont know if thats quite the same as your situation.
Do you know what he is struggling with in his life, so that you could admire the way he is dealing with it? Especially if it can be a 180 that you are respecting his decision (when previously you would have critised)?? I think showing that you respect him is pretty important... Even respecting his decision to leave.
You know T, he could really have wished that he didnt leave you, but couldnt face up to talking about it with you, especially as you never had that final conversation. Is it possible that he needs closure? You could have a closure conversation where you drop into it that you would be open to trying again if you ever ended up living in the same city (or something, which gives you an exit)...
These is a list from his needs / her needs: The First Thing She Can't Do Without - Affection The First Thing He Can't Do Without - Sexual Fulfillment She Needs Him To Talk To Her - Conversation He Needs Her To Be His Playmate - Recreational Companionship She Needs Him To Trust Him Totally - Honesty and Open-ness He Needs A Good-looking Wife - An Attractive Spouse She Needs Enough Money To Live Comfortably - Financial Support He Needs Peace And Quiet - Domestic Support She Needs Him To Be A Good Father - Family Commitment He Needs Her To Be Proud Of Him - Admiration
It was good for me to re-read them and see the ones I need to work on. I guess admiration was what H needed from me... and its possibly the only one you can do long distance. Does anything else jump out at you?
You could try seducing him in a way to show him that you are still interested in a relationship? Definitely next time you need to touch him more in a flirtatious way. Even if he doesnt respond it seems like that might be a 180 for you?
The other thing that works for me is when H gets to rescue me (thinking mobile phones, and home rennovation stuff, cars, insurance stuff), particularly if another man has let me down. Is there something going on that would B could fight for on your behalf? Something he could fix for you long distance? Some advice that only he can give, that would make him feel manly and like he is providing for you? Of course you dont ask for help you just drop it into conversation about how much trouble you are having and how its making you upset....
