He also broke down in tears about us having to work all of the time.
Didn't he also mention something about regretting that you're both driving what he considers "old" vehicles?
I think I read that.
Anyway everything lies in those two statements (among others signs I'm sure) and what you have to decide is if you actually love the man enough to go through this storm of his life with him or if you're going to look out for number 1 and bail at a time when he needs you the most, although can not easily admit it.
In beginning to read through some of your posts a few nights ago one thing struck me - and that was that your husband reminded me so much of my own, less the MLC, since I'm the one who had that.
Seriously, although I'm sick to death of standing and had thrown the towel in completely a few months ago, conviction soon rained down on my head. It doesn't matter that you and I are on different sides of the DB fence. The bottom line is are we going to abandon these men that we've loved and have loved us for so long?
Maybe you can do it, I can certainly understand the temptation to walk out on him.
I can not.
It would haunt me until the day I die if I turn my back on my husband as close as we've become since my MLC.
You and me, we have been given knowledge through this site and other resources as well.
So we bear a burden.
Of knowing the truth yet not always being so sure of what to do with it.
That's where faith and the bottom of our own hearts comes in.
Are you going to complete your vows or not?
In my case, so much has been restored between my husband and myself that although we're not "reconciled" by the DB definition of the word, we're reconciled enough that the decision is once again mine whether to stay or to go.
I choose to not turn my back on him again.
You can choose to not turn your back.
Unless of course he refuses to help himself a little.
And therein lies the problem.
Women are much more willing to seek help than men are. They are trained up from the cradle to be self-sufficient and to be fixers and providers. Your husband is looking back over his life and he's feeling like he didn't do such a bang-up job. Yes, ultimately this is a bridge he must cross on his own but it's your choice if you're going to aid in that crossing or open the draw on him and let him drown.
So is he willing to help himself at all? Will he consider Retrouvaille?
If so then you need to search your heart for the desire and willingness to stand.
If not, I suppose he made his own bed and ought to have to lie in it like the rest of us.
