Oh Babygirl.........I have read your story and got mad and cried and got mad again. I have to ask you, is he worth this? When your D is begging you to lock him out of the house?? I don't know. Guess I don't understand. I'm not as good a person as you, or something. I could not put up with a man disrespecting me the way he constantly treats you. You are worth more than that! He doesn't deserve you. He has shown what he is made of four times! You keep taking him back.......and he keeps doing it to you again. What will break the chain?
At first I wondered if you felt that you had to stay with him due to your health problems, but you said that you did not. So, is it b/c of the finacial support? Do you really, can you really love a person that treats you this way? I'm not telling you to leave him or file for a divorce. I am only trying to understand how or why you keep putting yourself and the kids through this. Can you see a life without him? Could you make it without him in your life? You stay so hurt and upset all the time and he doesn't ever seem to care what he does to you. Has it always been this way? Or, is it when he has his OW? I don't know......but, I couldn't do it. I wished I could give you encouragement, but I think it only makes me mad at him for the terrible treatment he is doing to his family.
I think you are so brave to face the health problems you have and you need people around you that love you and will care for you. Just like you said about losing your hair. That is tramatic for a woman and she needs her H to hold her and tell her he loves her no matter what.......instead of being with somebody else. That is just too low down and dirty. You deserve much better, babygirl.
I'm sorry if I said anything offensive, but I suppose I had to vent after reading all the crap he has done to you. My heart goes out to you and I know nothing I can do except pray for you and your children. And.....just to tell you that I am here. There are a lot of people here for you and truth be known, we all would probably like a piece of that jerk, but if you want to keep him, then we will try to support you the best we can.
Most of all, we want you to be well. We want you to be happy, Babygirl! Please keep telling yourself that you deserve to be happy and that you are too valualbe to be disrepsected.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
